I tiny hello from my dip onto the surface and into the online world.
I discovered a deep love for the rocks here on this continent. They resonate with a part within me that is connected with an ancient deep peace and quietness. And patience. You can see more pictures and personal stories from these past weeks and months on Instagram. Right now I’m taking a break from social media and connections, descending more and more into my own underworld and the landscape of my soul. And … since I’m learning that this kind of descent is a process … you might see me dipping in and out.
I’ve tasted something so ancient yet new.
I’m retreating from my beautifully constructed life.
Old ways of relating to “the other” and myself … changing.
Being no one for a while.
Shedding skin.
Dying is happening.
Laying my old suits to rest.
Sleeping under the stars.
Listening to my inner language and the language of dreams.
Crying.
Laughing.
Shedding more skin.
Dipping in and out.
Connecting with the layers underneath the known.
More and more: sinking in.
Who am I … without this and this and this and that way of being, of relating internally and externally? Without my profession?
What if I shared my life intimately with myself?
Who am I … ?
… when there’s nothing (that I once thought real) is there to come home to?
Naked.
Raw.
In the big mother’s embrace (sometimes feeling very welcome on the land, sometimes not).
Listening.
Pulling myself up and out of the caves … exhausted. Reconnecting again.
Feeling the exhaustion of being more on the surface levels again.
My soul’s caves calling and calling and calling.
Listening.
Leaning with my forehead against the rocks of my inner caves.
Listening.
She is very loud and very silent.
Deep in my belly.
Dying.
Shedding skin.
Tears of grief, letting go and joy.
Retreating from the beautiful construction of MY world.
What is the real world then?
Now I understand why they say, one needs to have strength to embark on such a journey.
Now I understand when people said: you are brave.
There is no other way … and I feel the bravery of my heart.
Who am I beyond all these words?
I know who I am.
And still … layers and layers of clothes that are not my clothes anymore are here …
Sleeping under the stars with no shelter helps shedding skin.
Wow … ok I didn’t expect that so many words would come out now.
With deep love to you, from just where I am now.
(For a map, what kind of terrain I’m navigating through, have a look at the book Soulcraft by Bill Plotkin)
