Hey beautiful You, you’re welcome to join me in my meandering thoughts …
***
I don't even know where to write about this,
where to share. (Well … as you see it’s in my blog now : )
Anyways.
The little piece of paper in my chocolate says:
”I make room to develop my talents.”
That fits with this whole decluttering theme … and with vision quest.
Ok. Now. I'm sitting in Brodowin. Hofladen.
Wanted to have some food.
Being confronted with how things are packed in plastic and I can see how much waste I produce. Then my awareness goes to the bigger picture of this Soul’s journey and how I'm only able to see and feel things that are going on in the city (in a big city) by having been away for a little bit (7 months and another 4 months before that). And by experiencing a tiny bit of a more natural life, in terms of closer to the earth, elements, the rhythms and cycles inside and outside.
Right now I'm equally feeling grateful for having had this long period of living in a city. A bit more than half of my life I've been living in the city - I’m just realizing.
I'm grateful for the still present patterns of muscular tension / thought patterns / addictive behaviour / energetic messiness etc which are within myself - and which are partially related to the life I've been living in a big city. I'm grateful for them - because through them and the contrast that I’ve just experienced - I'm only able to see and feel a bit more, how the impact of city life can be - on many levels. I'm exploring that through my own system. I have the sense this will be helpful for others as well at some point.
And of course it's quite a new exploration and I'm aware there's so much more to discover.
What I see now (by being again for 2 days away from Berlin in a semi-wild area) is - what it is, that I carry with me from these patterns and what's quite quickly released just by moving through the forest or just sitting still amongst the trees, swimming in the lake, breathing fresh air and being out there in solitude. I’m also aware that I’ve been practicing exactly this in these past months and that it might be easy for me to drop into that space quickly because my system is already open to that conversation with the earth.
On another note (regarding this time of questing in my life) - I also see how full of information this third time of returning back from Australia to Berlin is. I can see some threads more clearly regarding this unique life that I’ve been given and also about the importance of being very aware of the gift I'm born with and in what way I need to live so that this can be revealed in a deeper way and can therefor be shared more clearly and serve our human community and the more than human world in a bigger way.
It's not about me, yes. And since this embodied Being that I am is the vehicle, I need to be as clear and transparent as possible. Towards my own Soul, Self and Truth - which can't be separated from the bigger picture’s truth.
I feel and know that this is true and this insight comes with peace, seriousness and love. There's some tiredness just now and at the same time a silent excitment in my bones.
It's a dance and of course it's always a matter from which place we see and listen.
Through which eyes we are looking - from which place behind our ears we are listening.
Being a tiny bit outside of the usual City / Life hussle I really start to see more and more veils, dillusions, the famous Hamsterrad, the boxes. And I see: the jewel in each of us. It’s like: seeing more of the mess and seeing more of the genius. Less blurry. Still beautifully chaotic and perfect in its chaos. Ok … I’m drifting away a bit : )
So what's there to do?
Since I've always been drawn to and have developed the non-doing kind of ways (Alexander technique and other Wu Wei like approaches), getting out of life's way and at the same time radically including and integrating all of the different aspects of our psyche and our different bodies - even the judging ones and the ones that judge the judges ... I won't DO anything. Except for growing my awareness. And from there I’ll know what to do … from there I write, I support people to grow their awareness and to holistically declutter and dive more deeply into the question of: what is truly truly relevant for you and your life. What's essential? Who are you in essence?
From the place of radical inclusion I'll now go a step further: to the place where you yourself (if we choose to have these kinds of conversations) need to take this leap of faith to discover your own power and commitment to your own truth and soul and to your place in this world. It’s a bit different to the company I offered during these past years. A tiny and huge bit.
And of course ... doing the training as a vision quest protector (I see this type of Vision Quest as yet another incredibly powerful tool of "going out of the way", of "non distraction" and of a - at the same time radical inclusion as in being held by the Mother Earth) is now part of my path. Looking forward to be able to offer this service, when the time has come and I'm deeply enough immersed in that art.
From my heart
Su
